Sunday, July 4, 2010

To many people's surprise, the normally intransigent Sepp Blatter seems to have done a sudden U-turn of sorts regarding the possible use of goal-line technology. We've been investigating this and our sources tell us that he was simply unclear before on how it would all work. As soon as someone explained that all they had to do was put chips in the balls, he said that this would be no problem as McDonalds are one of the World Cup sponsors and they could easily supply them.

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While Sepp doesn't come over as the brightest whatsit in the thingy sometimes, the "Biggest Dumbasses of the Finals" award surely goes to those supporters who, when they're sitting in the stadium watching the game, suddenly realise their noggin is up on the big screen in glorious close-up, and who then think it makes sense to react to this by getting all excited, giving a huge glaikit smile and stand up, whereupon they completely remove themselves from the picture anyway. Duh.

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The Germans who won 4-0 against Argentina yesterday, showing they can't just hammer easy teams, have generously donated 500 footballs to the local townships. A spokesman for one of the townships said, "It's very kind of them but we've got loads – we've had folk outside the stadium waiting for free-kicks to be taken."

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Well, it would have been great scheduling, wouldn't it. On ITV tonight, a programme called "Gazza's Tears", reflecting on the 1990 World Cup semi-final between England and Germany. This was obviously scheduled weeks ago as part of the build-up to the mighty England appearing in the semi-finals this coming week. Bad luck then ITV. It's just, well, they went home weeks ago.

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Speaking of semi-finals, there's apparently been some sort of tennis tournament going in the background for the last fortnight. Some "British" guy called Andy Murray was seemingly doing quite well until David Beckham turned up and jinxed him as he had the English squad, and out he went. "Andy Murray blew his semi", the papers reported. Clever trick. Actually, if I could do that there'd be little reason to ever leave the house again.


The Undisputed

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