Thursday, June 10, 2010

Despite popular demand, we've tracked down The Undisputed, mysterious author of AFTN's "View From The Bay" section, and insisted on an occasional World Cup update as the tournament progresses. We can't promise it'll be as funny as James Corden(?) but it should at least be up there with Patrick Stewart. Enjoy.


View From The WC #1
10/06/10

One day to go, and we’re off and running in the 2010 World Cup. I’m supporting nobody, I’ve avoided all fantasy leagues, sweeps and bets so I can just relax and enjoy the games without having to worry about the result. I mean, we’ve enough of that all winter. Of course, I’ll be hoping England don’t win because it’ll be insufferable if they do, and I don’t want the French to win cause nobody likes them. And I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for Chile for no good reason. And the Dutch do play great football. Oh yeah, and the sooner South Africa are out the better, cause I don’t see why they’ve had every major sporting tournament thrown at them just because they at last caught up with the rest of the planet on the skin-colour thing. But apart from all that and some other stuff, I’m determined I’m remaining totally neutral! Mind you, those damned Australians can sod off back to their barbecues.

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Of course, one of the main fears for many Scots at this time is whether that lot south of the border will finally get it right. There’s no doubt they’ve got a far better chance now than they’ve had in a long time. However, I think we can rest easy. They still won’t be able to take penalties, their defence is still slow, and then there’s their strikers. I mean, Emile Heskey? Heskey has, I believe, a total of seven goals in international football which is one behind Paraguay’s Jose-Luis Chilavert and Colombia’s Rene Higuita and they were both goalies.

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This will be the first time the World Cup has been staged in Africa and, despite Pele’s past predictions, none of the sides from that continent have yet troubled the business end of the tournament. Is this the chance for this to change? While Cote d’Ivoire are many pundits favourites to do well, Fulham defender John Pantsil is ‘totally confident’ his Ghana side will make it to the semi-finals. I reckon the delusional defender’s been in England too long. Maybe he’s getting his underwear mixed up – Bras-il maybe, Pants –il – I don’t think so.

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As usual at World Cup time, there are a host of opportunities for a wager, with plenty of offbeat markets available for the adventurous punter. Paddy Power are offering 200/1 against all three of Greece’s group matches finishing 0-0, they’re even giving odds on who Maradona will insult first (11/8 the ref, 2/1 South Africa, 40/1 Pele – the mind boggles). Last but not least, they’re doing a market on the number of red cards English ref Howard Webb will issue. As far as I can see however, they haven’t issued odds on him issuing three yellows to the same guy.


The Undisputed

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