Friday, December 11, 2009

Two weeks ago we featured the "Unwritten Rules Of The Game" thread that has been featured on the AFTN Forum.

Here's some other contributions from our Forum guys...

- Ibrox will always start to empty after about 75 minutes, win lose or draw.
(Must be for the long bus/ferry journeys back home.)

- From a throw in, players must throw the ball high in the air and forward usually with a 40-60 chance of winning/retaining possession - instead of just throwing it 5 yards back to the feet of a teammate and taking it from there.

- Corners must be 'in-swingers' and must never swing out to meet the attackers oncoming head to maximise power and also to make it more diffiult for the opposition's defence to get a touch on the ball.

- Most foul throws must be ignored or not acted upon by referees in the modern game.

- Linesman must not adhere to the 'whole ball must be over the line to be out' rule.

- A player running up to take a penalty must be a signal for all players standing outside the area to run forward well into the box by the time the penalty taker strikes the ball.

- A free kick wall must rarely be 10 actual yards back from the ball.

- Teams who have been unsuccessful in launching the ball forward and not getting on the end of any of them for the majority of a game must think that this can't be the case, are simply unlucky and must keep doing this for rest of the 90 minutes regardless.

- When a player breaks both his opponents legs in a tackle from behind the referee must award a direct free kick unless the guilty player immediately points at the ball and blatantly lies that he touched the ball first.

- If the ball strikes a player and goes out for a throw in, the player must either:
a) raise their left arm
b) attempt to take the resultant throw in
c) make a verbal claim to linesman or referee that the throw in should be awarded in his favour.

- When taking a corner the player must place the ball just outside the quadrent,toget that critical 1/4 inch advantage.

- No player may ever take a free kick without first touching the ball with their hands. Even if it has been placed in exactly the right place, they need to pick it up and put it back down before they are allowed to kick it (keepers do this even if their side is losing in injury time- the defender puts the ball down and instead of just kicking the f*cking thing, they pick it up, put it straight back down, then punt it forwards)

- Substitute goalkeepers must wear their gloves whilst sitting on the bench, despite the fact their chances of getting on are relatively miniscule.

- Both playing and substitute goalkeepers must keep their gloves on when collecting medals at a cup final, thereby minimising the risk of dropping any silverware

- When commentating on a game you must stick with what you said even if slo mo proves otherwise

- Predominantly left footed players have a cultured left foot, you never hear of a cultured right foot though

- If the ball is nearing the goal-line and rolling out for a bye kick, defenders have the right to inflict greivious bodily harm on any opponent within 5 yards of the ball.These same defenders can also obstruct sunlight from reaching the planet if the opponent has any chance of getting near to the ball!

- If the ball strikes you on the hand anywhere on the pitch, it is always a free kick. But if you are inside your own penalty area, it has to have been deliberate, otherwise the award of a penalty is deemed 'harsh'

Keep them coming...


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